MessHall is a hideout for adults who enjoy oysters and booze. Adorned with oak wood tables, metal stools and cafeteria-trays-turned-wall-art, MessHall instantly transports you back to summer camp (if your camp counselor wore Warby Parkers and was also a part-time community blogger for Buzzfeed).  Continuing with the restaurant’s theme, our set-up on the patio had it’s own campfire in the middle of the table. Charming as it was, my face was on fire the entire time. Under my sweat-laden burger hat, I told people I was just excited.

I ordered the aptly named “Mess Burger”, which consisted of slow onions (not to be confused with quick onions), Vermont cheddar (AMERICA!), B&B pickles (bed and breakfast?), smokey sauce (sexy), and house fries.

The onions were perfectly caramelized. The bun, perfectly toasted. I typically enjoy lettuce and tomatoes, but I knew ahead of time that this burger came without. But the meat. Oh, the meat. I had requested my usual order of “Medium”, but received a borderline-rare burger that may have still had a pulse. Needless to say, this garnered a few demerits on the ol’ report card. The fries were decent, but they were topped with fried parsley (an already flavorless herb) so all I got was grease. Simon & Garfunkel might suggest sage, rosemary, or thyme as alternatives.

I grabbed (more than) one complimentary root beer barrel on the way out, and then proceeded home to my food coma.

Additional Comments:
“Mediocre.  I’m not disappointed but I’m not blown away either.  The turkey burger however, now that was something special.  Also, bonus points for fire pit. A+ for ambiance.” -Kristin Genovese
“The Mess Burger had an excellent initial flavor largely thanks to the toppings, but the patty was somewhat dry, exacerbated by the brioche bun.  The whole burger probably would be better on a thinner sesame bun.  The turkey burger, on the other hand, was one of the best I’ve had, but this ain’t turkey eaters united.  I do really appreciate that they lifted a page from the In-n-Out look and put the pickles under the patty.” -Michael Sherwood
“The fries were great!” -Celeigh Chapman
“Bad fries herb, parsley? thyme? Medium rare, not medium. Good onions.” – Kristen Bushnell
“Medium rare is bloody!” -Chris Burque
“Burger value needs to factor in the fact that fries came with the fries.  This place is a little expensive overall…hmmm…Still think Mason was a great server.  Did our table proud.” -Binks
“Good ass pickles” -Benjamin Mandei
“Medium rare = rare…and pregnant lady can’t eat it!” -Hannah Burque
“I am going to have a fire on ice pit on my next yacht.” -Aaron Monty
“Binks is a boss!  Cheap is a chief!” -Mike Soens

Out of 25 total BEU members in attendance, here’s how Messhall fared:

Appearance: 7.85
Patty: 6.7
Taste: 7.10
Creativity: 6
Bun: 7.05
Toppings: 6.73
Price: 5.57
Service: 7.89
Who would win in a fight?
Nick Nolte– 13
Rip Torn – 20

Overall Score: 6.8648