At my first BEU, a couple years back, I mentioned to Rebecca that I’m not rating the bun cause I don’t eat the bun. She said this was totally fine as we were not at “bun eaters united” and informed me that’s a different group entirely.  Thanks for that Ms. Rienks.  It’s really a fine thing, being united in beef eating, which makes me wonder – why are some of us – who are united in beef eating – not actually consuming any beef at all at Beef Eaters United where the consumption of beef is celebrated by eating beef in the form of a hamburger the very evening we get together? Look, I get it, maybe you don’t eat anything with a face, and neither do I, I mean rarely (no pun…), and when you get a severed a hamburger, I can assure the face is long gone. Sometimes at sushi place I’ll get that sweet shrimp, I think it’s called, and they serve up that face separately, fried, but that’s really not eating something with a face – that is in fact a face.

And speaking of shrimp – let’s hold that thought for a second – I want to stop and say I really enjoyed the folks at my table – very nice – salt of the earth – as interested as they were interesting….  So – the dude at the end of the table who shall remain nameless cause I forgot his name, how did he celebrate our being united in beef eating?  Bring on the LOBSTER ROLL – “New England roll, butter lettuce & fresh dill” What the….?? What about that celebrates beef eating unity – or anything at all really? And sitting right across from me – nothing says Beef Eaters United like a piping hot Vegan Pizza. There’s a song I like very much called I Respect Your Feelings As a Woman and a Human Being, and this is true, but come on now – what’s up with that? As a child in NYC I ate Pizza Burgers all the time, but guess what? – those are burgers not pizza. And the lay to the left of me, “Shaved Market Veggies” – really? I have no words. Mara “Soft Rock Saturday” Schwartz Kuge was sitting to the right of me eating a hamburger – a tiger in Africa?  Good job.

Alright, the Spare Tire.  I lucked out parking wise and got a nice space on the street – that’s important to me – easy parking – good start – could have turned ugly as there was construction and what not.  The place itself was not bad. Looked pleasant enough. I guess gastro pubs are pretty popular, and that’s fine with me.  I had to eat up high – not my first choice – cause everything was taken down low.  The waiter immediately started my very own tab – nice work!  To my knowledge, they (the waiters) did that for everyone.  That’s the best.  And I normally show up early (to get a good seat – didn’t work this time) and leave, well, no earlier than 8:25, and not having to deal with the group check is a bonus.  This was one of the moistest BEUs ever on account of the weather – oh man.

The burger itself was unremarkable – especially for us bunless types.  It was cooked fine, tasted good – really small, I thought.  When you go bunless, you want a substantial meat offering. I could have dealt with 2.5x the size.  Upward and onward!  I really loved that place in Korea Town.

Out of 45 people in attendance, here’s how Spare Tire fared:

Appearance: 7.25

Patty: 8.0714

Taste: 7.5357

Creativity: 6.1428

Bun: 6.7857

Toppings: 7.0357

Value/Price: 7.3214

Service: 7.1428

TOTAL: 7.1607

Sriracha beat out a Slurpee in the “who would win in a fight?” category.

Additional Comments:

Koichi: #squad

John Moses: I don’t appreciate being called a pig in Item #2: BEU Survey Instructions. I’ve been going through a lot and just want to eat my burger without any additional judgement from Brayden. 

Vitaly Shenderovsky: Not bad…not bad.

Alison Lieber: Alison Rosenfeld is an angel. Catarina Da Vinci is an angel.

Cory Shackelford: “Life’s a garden. Dig it.” -Joe Dirt

Alison Rosenfeld: Chicken + waffles = A++. Overall: good! But nothing ~*special*~

Laura Katz: Excellent central location!

Lauren Weis: Have faith!

Peter Wade: Fun spot. Loud tho. Kinda a little bit of a burger fuckfest! Had fun tho. Burgels. Burglary. Iceburg.

Patrick Clancy: It was so crazy, we had to order at the bar.

Garrett McElver: This burger made me tire-d, but I wouldn’t spare it for a second.

Brayden: A $30 lobster roll better be a damn good lobster roll.

Chris Piccaro: Anarchy on the free table.

Jess Ruoti: The lingering party at the tables near us should have been kicked the f*ck out! Also, my fries were overcooked. Sadsies. +5 style points for playing Dumb & Dumber on the TV.

Michael Sherwood: The patty was cooked perfectly, and the meat was excellent quality, but the bun was dry, and the onions were overpowering.

Binks: Jesus, this place is loud. Ok, can we just go ahead and re-state a couple of things: 1) RSVPing is polite, so don’t be a dick. 2) Ordering pizza at BEI like this is motherfucking PEU is a fireable offense – don’t let me find out who did that. O-ver.

Eric Kalver: Not enough seating for us to be together. Burger was mediocre.

Natasha Albert: Thanks for the invite! (First timer, SO FUN)


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