October 31, 2019
BURGERS NEVER SAY DIE REVIEW BY MR. E
A review by Mr. E:
Tonight’s the night, where in plain sight I wait with eager eyes
To try this famous burger while I wear a great disguise.
The line was long, I must confess, the wait was even longer
But every passing minute only made my hunger stronger.
I reached the front and ordered just a simple burg and fries
And I could tell (based on the smell) I was in for a surprise!
I chatted and I twittered and I gave Trixie a pet
My meal came out before I had even time to break a sweat.
I took a bite and tried to stifle it as best I could
But let it slip that “Holy shit this burger’s fucking good!!”
The cheese was melty, patty crispy, ketchup mellow-sweet
Almost Halloween but zero tricks – this one’s a treat!
The only thing regretful is my own forgetful blunder –
I ordered just one burger when I should’ve got another.
So this, my friends, the verdict from a reviewer in disguise:
Get your ass posthaste to try Burgers Never Say Die!
Out of 35 people in attendance, here’s how Burgers Never Say Die fared:
And Heath Ledger’s Joker beat out Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker in the “Who would win in a fight?” category.
Pat Buchanan: Dude. This burger. It was greasy, salty perfection. I hereby name it “Char Char Binks”.
Dan Koplowitz: This burger was thinner than my wallet and saltier than a Dodgers fan after missing the World Series. I loved it.
Mara Kuge: This was a seriously good, well caramelized burger, reminiscent of a Quarter Pounder with cheese.
Tina: My experience started with a bit of disappointment because the employee told me it would be a 35 minute wait but you know what, the wait was kinda worth it. The best part was the crispy edge juicy patty. The bun was excellent too. Excellence. I would skip the fries though.
Jon Hafter: Reminded me of burgers I got at daycamp…appropriately crispy and flat, tasty cheese and bun all worked together. A little salty, but added up well!
Paul Rocha: A-mazing! THE best BEU burger I’ve had! 5 stars!
Julia Moreira: Long wait but such nice peeps!
Casey N.: My fave BEU burger yet!
Brayden: Yeah, same. I’ve been doing this for 4 years and this is probably my favorite burger in LA. Every element in harmony. A choir of perfection. Sing to me.
Jon Bower: A glorified McDonald’s burger in the best way. Simple and tasty!
Jane: Excellently cooked patties!
Luke Phillips: Too much salt.
Jordan Young: It was spooky how good it was! Left a haunting taste in my mouth. …could’ve used some lettuce though.
Brian V.: So yah, this joint was pretty darn amazing.
Keith Armstrong: This is like McDonald’s in it’s final form. High quality wrapped around nostalgia. Price is steep but I’ll do it again.
Koichi Sanchez: But do I get a shake tho???
Sherwood: It really is a great burger, but it doesn’t live up to the hype. I lost all the beef flavor in the mix of the other flavors, which were still excellent.
Jamin: Smash dat burga!