I never thought I’d be asked to write a burger blog. I’m not a writer. Which will soon be apparent to everyone reading this.  Also, I haven’t eaten red meat in over 15 years.  I do love those birds, though.  If there’s a turkey burger on the menu, I’m getting it!

Turkey burgers get a bad rap.  People think of them as a bland, dry substitute for  the real thing.  Fair enough, but I find that to rarely be the case.  Restaurants usually compensate with plenty of spice and a decent topping selection.  It’s been a while since I’ve had a real hamburger, but I like to think I’d still prefer turkey most of the time.

Walking into House of Pies I should have known what I was getting myself into.  An old school diner may very well serve the most delicious hamburgers you’ve ever tasted, but that usually doesn’t translate to turkey burgers.  (or veggie burgers)

After ordering late, and getting my food even later, I was bummed to find 4 slimy, juicy, stinky pickle slices on my plate, even though I specifically asked for “no pickles.”  I hate pickles with a fiery passion.  Here’s an instructional video about my condition: https://youtu.be/ta-FGE7QELQ

After carefully removing the pickles from the plate, and wiping the juice up, I was ready to tackle the burger.  It looked pretty standard with some iceberg lettuce, tomato slices, onions, cheese.  The undisclosed mayo wasn’t my favorite, but I could live with it.  Unfortunately, this turkey burger deserved its bad rap.  It was dry even with plenty of ketchup, and they made no attempt to spice the ground turkey.  The fries that weren’t compromised by pickle juice were mediocre at best.   Two thumbs down for the turkey. From what I could tell, the regular burgers didn’t fare much better.  I’ll be sticking to pie next time.

Thanks for having me, BEU!  I’ll gladly come hang again next time I’m in LA!  So long from Nebraska. …the beef state.

The individual scores were lost in translation, but here’s how the House of Pies fared overall: 5.58732